Supporting Yourself – While Supporting Others

The emotional toll of supporting others in their time of need can easily overshadow your own mental health. Debrief as needed.

By Jim A. Luff

In the often-overlooked realm of funeral service professionals, the emotional toll of the job is profound, yet rarely acknowledged. "Last responders" face escalating demands in a world reeling from crises like overdoses, suicides, and mass casualty events. While they provide essential support during times of grief, funeral directors often lack the psychological support systems offered to first responders, such as stress debriefing. 

Debriefing, developed as a coping mechanism for challenging situations, offers a structured, safe environment for workers to share their emotions and mitigate stress. Despite its success in other fields, it remains underutilized in funeral homes. As burnout becomes a growing concern, incorporating this practice could significantly enhance the well-being and sustainability of funeral workers. 

Furthermore, the conversation around supporting others in grief also highlights the importance of balancing personal well-being with empathy. Deathcare professionals are encouraged to "pay themselves first" by prioritizing self-care, which includes acknowledging their own grief, employing empathy without judgment, and supporting “unseen mourners” like children, the elderly, or others impacted. 

The key to enduring this demanding work without depletion lies in maintaining a robust personal support system. This balance ensures you can continue to provide compassionate care while preserving your own health and emotional resources. 

There is an urgent need for the funeral industry to embrace mental health support strategies. As the landscape of grief and loss evolves, supporting the mental well-being of those at its forefront becomes not just beneficial, but essential for your career longevity and the quality of care you are providing to the families you serve. 

Death is inevitable. The manner in which people pass can and does have a profound impact on our emotions. Arranging services for a young person who has committed suicide can be extremely difficult as you watch the parents grieve. Your emotions are likely much different when the decedent is a 90-year-old adult. It is important that you recognize these emotional ranges and even more important that you not be afraid to speak up when you feel the need to talk it out or debrief with colleagues.